First Post of 2011
I had this dream last night that I was pregnant. Not just that I was pregnant, but that I experienced pretty much an entire pregnancy over the course of a dream in which all kinds of other things were happening, that were more-or-less the focal point of the dream at those various points, except that in the background, sort of peripherally, I continued to become increasingly pregnant. The last part of the dream was me being driven to the hospital to actually have this baby. I was in the front seat of a minivan, being driven by my mom, with my sister and her fiancé in the back seat. And as we were driving along, I actually found myself thinking: Oh. Huh. I’m actually about to have a baby. Like, there will be a baby. I had not given this fact any actual consideration at any time up to this point. It was just sort of, something I was vaguely aware of. I hadn’t done anything in preparation. I hadn’t even gone to the doctor.
So I said, just generally to the other people in the car: I don’t think I’m in any way ready to have this baby.
And my mother said something completely random and useless, I think it was something like: Well, you’ll have to at least repaint the bathroom.
And I was like, um. I really don’t think the paint in the bathroom is the issue here.
And she started to argue, and then my sister and her boyfriend started to argue with her, mostly along the lines of, “just let her say what she’s trying to say,” but it just turned into this whole thing and I decided it was easier to just let it go. And as we drove up to the entrance to the hospital I thought, Am I completely sure I’m going to have a baby? What if it’s just, like, a hysterical pregnancy or something? And I remembered something I had seen on like TLC or the Discovery Channel (not for real, just in the dream) about some mentally unstable woman who had everyone — including the delivery doctor! — convinced she was in labor until they realized she wasn’t even pregnant. And the more I thought about it, the more I thought, maybe I’m not really pregnant. I think maybe I’m just fat. I should probably just go home. And I realized that that was the most sensible thing to do, so I just decided to drop the whole baby thing and go on as if nothing had ever happened, and hope everyone would eventually let me live it down.
Then I woke up.
I think this may have some relevance to things that are actually happening in my life right now.
So I said, just generally to the other people in the car: I don’t think I’m in any way ready to have this baby.
And my mother said something completely random and useless, I think it was something like: Well, you’ll have to at least repaint the bathroom.
And I was like, um. I really don’t think the paint in the bathroom is the issue here.
And she started to argue, and then my sister and her boyfriend started to argue with her, mostly along the lines of, “just let her say what she’s trying to say,” but it just turned into this whole thing and I decided it was easier to just let it go. And as we drove up to the entrance to the hospital I thought, Am I completely sure I’m going to have a baby? What if it’s just, like, a hysterical pregnancy or something? And I remembered something I had seen on like TLC or the Discovery Channel (not for real, just in the dream) about some mentally unstable woman who had everyone — including the delivery doctor! — convinced she was in labor until they realized she wasn’t even pregnant. And the more I thought about it, the more I thought, maybe I’m not really pregnant. I think maybe I’m just fat. I should probably just go home. And I realized that that was the most sensible thing to do, so I just decided to drop the whole baby thing and go on as if nothing had ever happened, and hope everyone would eventually let me live it down.
Then I woke up.
I think this may have some relevance to things that are actually happening in my life right now.