rosey hussein violet X (![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} roseyv) wrote,@ 2008-05-06 12:43:00 |
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Life is a River
Ever since I first damaged my back, in October of 2005, my posture has become truly atrocious. It’s a combination of a lot of things, but mostly it’s having to sleep on my side every night. This causes my shoulders to roll in toward my chest while I sleep, and eight or more hours of this every night for the best part of two-and-a-half years has made me terribly round-shouldered. So a couple of weeks ago I ordered a “posture brace” from one of those sad, old-lady paper catalogues that sells arthritis salve and lip bleach and seat-risers for the toilet and bras with little pockets in them for you to hide your cash in. Now, you would think that this purchase, and the mere fact that I am now on the mailing list for this catalogue and get at least one a week, would make me feel old and arthritic and hairy-lipped and incapable of lowering myself all the way down on the potty and prone to eyeing all passing young men suspiciously on the days I cash my social security checks. You would think, wouldn’t you? And yet.
You see, last night, I needed to wash my hair (and by the way, did you know there’s a nifty little gadget you can fasten around your neck like a dog-cone, so you can wash your hair fully clothed and sitting up in a chair? You know, in case getting in and out of the tub is difficult for you) and I wasn’t sure I’d have time to do it in the morning, so I washed and dried it before going to bed. Unfortunately, as is often the case after washing my hair the night before, I woke up with bad case of flat-hair this morning, accompanied by the random flyaways. And since I planned on starting to wear the brace this morning, I thought, well, heck. Why not start with another good habit, too? So I put on some of those teeth-whitening thingies. And since yesterday turned out to be much colder than I had thought it would be, and by last night I was regretting not having worn a jacket, I grabbed one before leaving the house.
And so I left the house this morning, in my “posture brace,” with my bad hair and my dental apparatus, and of course all bundled up in my sweater even though it was 80 degrees out, because you never know.
I honestly don’t think I have had such a serious case of Eighth Grade Morning since I was actually in the eighth grade.
And that was in like, the fucking eighth grade!
On the plus side, I think this hooky doodad I got to help me get my buttons buttoned is really going to contribute to my sense of independence.
Ever since I first damaged my back, in October of 2005, my posture has become truly atrocious. It’s a combination of a lot of things, but mostly it’s having to sleep on my side every night. This causes my shoulders to roll in toward my chest while I sleep, and eight or more hours of this every night for the best part of two-and-a-half years has made me terribly round-shouldered. So a couple of weeks ago I ordered a “posture brace” from one of those sad, old-lady paper catalogues that sells arthritis salve and lip bleach and seat-risers for the toilet and bras with little pockets in them for you to hide your cash in. Now, you would think that this purchase, and the mere fact that I am now on the mailing list for this catalogue and get at least one a week, would make me feel old and arthritic and hairy-lipped and incapable of lowering myself all the way down on the potty and prone to eyeing all passing young men suspiciously on the days I cash my social security checks. You would think, wouldn’t you? And yet.
You see, last night, I needed to wash my hair (and by the way, did you know there’s a nifty little gadget you can fasten around your neck like a dog-cone, so you can wash your hair fully clothed and sitting up in a chair? You know, in case getting in and out of the tub is difficult for you) and I wasn’t sure I’d have time to do it in the morning, so I washed and dried it before going to bed. Unfortunately, as is often the case after washing my hair the night before, I woke up with bad case of flat-hair this morning, accompanied by the random flyaways. And since I planned on starting to wear the brace this morning, I thought, well, heck. Why not start with another good habit, too? So I put on some of those teeth-whitening thingies. And since yesterday turned out to be much colder than I had thought it would be, and by last night I was regretting not having worn a jacket, I grabbed one before leaving the house.
And so I left the house this morning, in my “posture brace,” with my bad hair and my dental apparatus, and of course all bundled up in my sweater even though it was 80 degrees out, because you never know.
I honestly don’t think I have had such a serious case of Eighth Grade Morning since I was actually in the eighth grade.
And that was in like, the fucking eighth grade!
On the plus side, I think this hooky doodad I got to help me get my buttons buttoned is really going to contribute to my sense of independence.
