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Woman sits on boyfriend's toilet for 2 years

Girlfriend was physically stuck to the seat — her skin had grown around it.


My favorite part of this article is the following quote: “It really doesn’t surprise me,” Ellis said of the bathroom incident. “What surprises me is somebody wasn’t called in a bit earlier.”

It really doesn’t surprise me.

I think we can all feel a little bit better about our own lives now, can’t we? Because no matter how bad things may occasionally look, no matter how our confidence and self-esteem may sometimes fail; no matter how we may at times worry about how we appear to others, I think I can say with some confidence that if you are reading this right now – i.e., if you are on my friends list – should you ever become permanently affixed to the toilet seat of a loved one, at the very least, someone in your immediate family or social circle would consider it at least a little bit out-of-character for you.

“It really doesn’t surprise me,” Ellis said.

"It's true," confirm's Ellis sister Earnise. "We always knew she'd wind up stuck to a toilet seat eventually. It seemed kind of ineveitable. She just had that look about her."

Area dry cleaner Myrtle Bouchard told this reporter: "Whenever you'd pass her in the street and say, 'Hey, Kory, how you doin'?' she'd always answer, 'Oh, I'm okay. You know, right now I just need to go pick up a dozen eggs and some Cheez-Its, but later on I'm planning to spend a couple of years stuck to my boyfriend's toilet seat.' I always just assumed she meant it metaphorically."

Not all those we spoke to took the situation quite so easily in stride, however. “Stuck to a what?” asked neighbor Florin Gilchrest. "You are kidding me! Although,” he added, “in fairness, I was two years behind her in high school, and I seem to remember now that junior year, she was voted 'Girl Most Likely to End Up with her Ass Grown Up Around her Boyfriend’s Toilet Seat.' But still, at the time, I didn't attach any significance to it. Shows to go you, I guess.”